Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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