Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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