I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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