exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
