apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
