so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize