Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.