Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!