I CAN MOONWALK!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
