it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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