I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
