I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
