Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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