we have pet lesbian snakes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
