Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize