Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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