If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
