Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
