i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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