my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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