Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.