don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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