Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You dont lie about slip and slides
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.