But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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