He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
