I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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