I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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