I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
