and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
