i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
