She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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