Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
People in love make me want to vomit
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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