I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
