Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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