the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I believe in your delicious
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
