If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He shit in the fireplace
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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