Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
