Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
