maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
