The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
