ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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