Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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