I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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