btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
