I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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