Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize