you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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