I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
