i just had sex bonerless
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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