My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
