Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
