I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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