i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize