i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
