Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
