She's JV to your varsity
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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