Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
