Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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