i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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