yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
