I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
