Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
